Question & Answer 10 – Charlie Baylis

Question 10

I had fun, Charlie,
did you?

– Aaron Kent

Answer 10

Yes.

– Charlie Baylis

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Question & Answer 9 – Charlie Baylis

Question 9

For us choice kills.
Your original undoing
came here, a real life interruption experienced.

But you want us to make up,
and I’m not sure Charlie,
because it looks weak.
(And so did your begging for us to please just stop the arguing because you are worried about your precious reputation)

But, fine,
let’s make up.
We friends?

– Aaron Kent

Answer 9

Now that you’re in the Kenyon Review I deem you worthy of reply.
You bastard.

I am not aware of having a reputation,
beyond pissing on pelicans and painting raindrops.

Suffice to say: there is not much left to be said in poetry,
but that you should say it, aaron, is not your responsibility.

– Charlie Baylis

Question & Answer 8 – Charlie Baylis

Question 8

Charlie,

You begged and pleaded to take part in this, asked me to take your virginity in return for a spot on the roster – and I let you, with none of the side effects. And yet, there you sit, torn apart like Natalie Imbruglia in Warsaw, begging for me to jump at your cheap tricks.

Fuck you Charlie Baylis – you don’t know shit.

I have half a mind to rewrite your answers as glowing praise for me, but I wouldn’t want the stain of your compliments on the lapels of my work. You’ve grown like a rose bush in Practical Magic, you’re all resurrection with none of the treats. When Halloween comes you’ll knock on doors and whisper ‘trick or trick’ because opening the door to you is never a treat.

You think this is harsh, wait till you see what I drew in the men’s toilets in the Falmouth Café Nero. A picture of you reading your own work and crying.

Do you actually think you are worth the effort, Baylis?

Love Aaron

– Aaron Kent

Answer 8

the last image was strong, the rest was trite and predictable
marriane moore

i last saw aaron kent by the ugly tree locking his bike to the no bike sign
excreting light bulbs to illuminate his wife holding a pink balloon
he’d been wearing the same blouse for weeks

“aaron how asinine you seem in blouse and brogues
why dost thou dress in thy mother’s clothes?!”

“charlie charlie i’m not a real poet
just a jerk attempting poetry to boost my social media status
here here have another question”

“aaron kent i had a pleasant time sipping sunlight in the moonlight
until you came into my waldorf salad
with your frilly frock and pointlessness perfumed by j lo you are a complete idiot
here is a pin for your pink balloon i require you to pop it”

– Charlie Baylis

Question & Answer 7 – Charlie Baylis

Question 7

Your house isn’t worth the matches I lit on the sun.
Your house couldn’t get into the Paris Review.
Your house is made of left shoes and resentment.
You’ve spent too much time trying to count the pop charts.
You could never go past 100, Charlie, could you?
You are clearly out of touch – Taylor Swift is out.
You don’t know – apparently Ed Sheeran is the current big thing.
You don’t hear him on the radio every day it seems.
Your iPod is dysfunctional, it is a bad night at a family dinner.
Charlie, you’ve been on the charlie too much, charlie Charlie.

– Aaron Kent

Answer 7

considering most poets are self obsessed wankers
i greet you at the start of a glittering car
trip down the m1 to buy yourself birthday flowers

considering most poets on this site masturbate to their interview
starring into a mirror miming ‘pretty eyes, pretty eyes’
do i really want to be associated with such clowns

aaron the yokel…..you ain’t but laid a glove on me
you are a pussy…….aching to be painted pink
i’ve no petrol for you…….take your cap and your questions
…………………………you’ve peaked

– Charlie Baylis

Question & Answer 6 – Charlie Baylis

Question 6

My wife and I have a running joke
that our cat does not understand the need for names
and so calls everything Charlie.

Charlie Moth. Charlie Dog. Charlie Horse.

But stop smoking Melissa, I’ve done it and it burns
like a tentpole thrust into the moon’s surface
or a dolphin beached by SONAR. SONAR CHARLIE! SONAR!

Charlie Baylis. Charlie Bailiff. Charlie Bail of Hay.

Hey! When have you ever been here for me?
I didn’t see you at my wedding, or when I scream at night,
or the birth of my daughter (trick question, that’s July).

CHARLIE! CHARLIE! CAROL!

I will burn your house down and then we’ll see how you sleep
on a pincushion or a cloud, or a woollen cactus for £12.
It’s always sunny in Cornwall. It’s always sunny in Cornwall.

Pepe Silvia. There’s no Carol in HR.

This office is a Goddamn ghost town.

– Aaron Kent

Answer 6

burn my house down! you sly motherfucker!
i’m so glad i poisoned your cat.
i haven’t been this pissed off since the editor of the paris review pissed on my shoe.
i haven’t had this much fun since i told taylor swift her poetry was godawful
amid the subsequent nuclear fall out
i was accused of misogyny, terrible hair,
vomiting on unicorns, shoplifting from the aaron kent superstore.
i was told not to submit to the eighty nine very boring poetry
reviews of oxfordshire and gloucestershire
selena gomez – is it too late to say sorry?

aaron of kent. kantish aaron. aaron kant.
go bieberfile your fingernails

the sun shines in cornwall
except the day i arrive
douse your new rollerblades in petrol
place dynamite under your asshole
blast you into outer mongolia
strangle your cat for the ninth time.

– Charlie Baylis

Question & Answer 5 – Charlie Baylis

Question 5

I think you are sleeping closely behind
two racers in a small visual cinematic experience,
where Magyar flows from duvet to duvet
to dead.

How can flies be astronauts?
Whether space is plasma or a tsunami,
whether Fred Astaire glitters dynamite
into the void left by Nancy Sinatra,
it’s all irrelevant in the grand scheme
of things.

I’ll call your name Charlie,
and hang it to dry amongst the salt
caves in Austria.

– Aaron Kent

Answer 5

jean rhys smokes a cigarette on a dominican beach
………..walsh and ambrose tear through the middle order
………………….demerara sugar dissolves in melissa tea

my name is really aaron kent and i wear a red coastline round my neck
your name is really charlie charlie and you dance up the stem of a wildflower
x’d out by the bounce of a bright white ball

your questions are a hymn to aroma of rum on the trade winds
or in tribute to the astro noughts left behind on the polka dot
on missions to return nancy sinatra’s perm from mars, all this may be irrelevant

but somehow it is beautiful
i sleep on clouds made of guacamole and happiness pills
journey into the upside down where i see you
humming the lost languages of the inuits
washing the outer hebrides into my inner thoughts
with my questions and all of your answers…

jean rhys smokes melissa on a dominican beach
………..walsh and ambrose tear through a packet of cigarettes
………………….demerara sugar dissolves in the middle order

i do not know what
i am here for………………….but if anything

i am here for you.

– Charlie Baylis

Question & Answer 4 – Charlie Baylis

Question 4

I’m not sömnambulitic,
not katolik to my drömn.
Instead I stay kross’d to
öwllwö and wait, impatiently,
for maa to kadöutt into
gull, and everything the charms
bring snaran to hjeart.
How are you sömn, Charlie?

– Aaron Kent

Answer 4

i am sleeping klusi between fine strands of spalvu my friend
in a visumā i have never seen
new language flowers over the seas of zelta
apollo flies into the plašā plašumi of space
i feel kā fred astaire with a hangover vai nancy sinatra with a perm
manas vēnas glitter ar nitroglycerin
pasaulē that is at my fingertips or at manas rīkles
pasaulē that i wander through hoping that someone will call my name

– Charlie Baylis