What are we to do with flat Earthers, and Holocaust deniers, and illuminati speculators? Should we dangle them over the edge of the world, and watch as they step into the curve and continue to circumnavigate this globe? Or do we show them the remnants of hate and watch them stutter through invisible threads?
My father was a conspiracy theorist, he found hope in David Ick and swore that every shooting was a false flag. Blame the prime minister, not the shooter. Every story had to be a cover for something deeper, or something more malevolent – as if thirty children dying at the hands of a teenager’s rifle wasn’t dark enough, so there had to be an electoral scandal to hide behind. I always hoped he would read my report card and decide a ‘C’ in Maths was due to the rising of lizard people in schools, not because I wasted my time listening to Kanye’s All that Glitters in class. [but that would’ve meant he had read my report card].
Terrance Howard promises that this is the last century our children will be taught 1×1=1. Terrance Howard thinks Einstein and Tesla would lose their minds were they alive to hear of Terryology. Terrance Howard spends 17 hours a day proving that if one times one equals one that means two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. If we have one version of one Terrance Howard, we apparently have two.
And maybe that’s the trick.
Maybe Terry has managed to clone himself.
Maybe the lizard people did mark me down in Maths.
Maybe this planet drops off somewhere past Australia.
Maybe we’re just blind to all of this.
Though I doubt it.
Stay chill Daniel,
– Aaron Kent
Illuminati. A bit 1780s really,
when Xavier von Zwack was
second-in-command. And you don’t
fuck around with a name like that.
I’ll return to your questions further down the page.
Strictly speaking I’m a left to right no nonsense man,
blocks of text as if an asteroid storm
but this one’s had me flickering back
and forth from the Indian IPL, sixes,
Kanye and cheerleaders, setting me
on a path to more conventional form.
That’s live commentary for you.
If only conspiracies pulled their weight,
Elvis as spied on Sunset Boulevard,
Lord Lucan taking tea at Traitor’s Gate,
or that whole ‘we conquered the moon?’ charade.
Conspiracy, old as Trojan horses,
in place to encase the mad online wrath
in the presses of the global shit-bath…
Where would we be without our rough sources?
I see the vertical multitudes –
for there be many nasty fuckers
we’d like to get rid of once and for all –
with rainbow balloons strung over their heads
expanding as they rise up to who
gives a shit where, far enough away
as outer hemispheres get.
I have a heart like everyone has a heart
and my heart wants all the dark hearts
to fuck off completely and irrevocably.
In space, they will meet by chance,
the holocaust deniers delighted to point out
at altitude to passing Jewish scientists the earth
is not flat, while the is she/isn’t he brigade
is there to keep space hatred oxygenated for all constituents, speculators inc.,
whose balloons might go up as well as down.
I owned a lizard I taught to count to 2
and who knew the world was round.
Paul was his name. One night Paul
and I discussed Terry and decided
to cut down a tad on the learning.
Next day, Paul packed his bags
and abandoned me, as have many others.
– Daniel Roy Connelly