Question & Answer 3 – Niall Bourke

Question 3

What’s your vice, Niall?
Where are your excuses?
Coffee was always my father’s excuse:
……..to miss a birth,
…………….to miss dinner,
……………………to miss the target,
even though
he
never
drank
the
damn
stuff.

When we sat upright at the
t
……..a
…………….b
……………………l
…………………………..e
we spoke downright
bull
……..shit.

And now I drink too much coffee.

– Aaron Kent

Answer 3

I’ve woken in the hallway
with a carpet in my mouth,
I hear my housemates ranting
I can tell they are put out,

I feel the beer-angst spiders
spindle slowly up my spine,
booze-guilt blue amnesia
after the second skin of wine.

I told my girl I loved her,
though I’ve known her just a week,
and I think I fought a copper
and he knocked out half my teeth,

I verbally massaged a cabbie
with amazing shafts of wit
but in the light of morning
A spoonerism seems more fit.

I spent a solid fortune,
I lost my bloody phone
I ate my fecking wallet
I left my keys at home

So I had to wake my flat mate
by throwing pebbles up to knock
upon his bedroom window.
But the pebble was a rock.

And when the door was opened
he was further unimpressed,
as I lay there, stripped half bare
and pissing down the steps.

I staggered to my bedroom –
but I never reached my bed
because I fell over on the landing
and cracked my frigging head.

Now I’ve woken in the hallway,
I’m due in work by ten,
there’s a cunty carpet in my mouth
and I’ll never drink again.

– Niall Bourke

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